The Heat is On

I never have done well with heat. My body shuts down to preserve itself. It feels like I'm drugged. I'm not talking about when I'm actually in the heat. My body knows when its hot outside, and it does this. My body tries to go into hyper-sleep. I can't think very efficiently because it feels like my brain is drugged. I just can't get motivated. It's like I have sleeping-sickness - can't ever wake up all the way.

My training is going poorly - I'm very under-trained.
I went to Real Endurance.com and tried their calculator to figure out a predicted finish time for the Leadville 100. Granted, I was really sick during April, and my performance for each race since then has been better and better - so things are moving in the correct direction. But the calculator says I'll barely finish. That's IF I finish, and the margin of error is great enough that I could even finish, but not make the 30hr cutoff.

Real Endurance.com calculator predictions
Based on...
Run Rabbit Run: 2.42+/-.31 = 24:03/27:34/31:08
Jemez 50: 2.15+/-.24 = 28:56/32:34/36:13
SJS50: 2.11+/-.23 = 29:12/31:40/35:06
Silver Rush 50: 2.65+/-.27 = 25:07/27:57/30:36
/29:55:30/

I'm feeling real un-motivated, though. Just not caring about the Leadville thing much anymore.
I went to log into the Leadville website today, but my login was invalid. They dumped all usernames and passwords. So i created an account last October, but in February I couldn't log on. And now in July, the account was no good and I had to create a new one. I'm so glad I'm not dealing with this race ever again. I work hard at a job that is full of hassles - but they pay me to put up with hassles. But when I'm not getting paid, the last thing I want are hassles. The Leadville races just aren't my cup of tea anymore. I'm not against them - it is quite a big enterprise. I simply don't want it in my life after this summer.
It's like the Pikes Peak Marathon - so glad I did it - once. I never want to do it again - such a zoo.
There are other races coming out all the time, and I want to stick to races that are simpler. Maybe abandon pay-for events and stick with adventures with my crazier friends who like to do Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim, and stuff like that. I want to go back to work feeling relaxed - not like I've been run around a rat-race dotting i's and crossing t's.